The Power of Music

As some of you may know, before I started my career in advertising, my dream job was to be a flautist with the National Ballet of Canada. I had always dreamed of being a ballerina as a little girl. I took ballet for several years and as a child I idolized Karen Kain and Frank Augustine. But honestly... I wasn't that good a dancer! So when I started playing the flute and then went on to study flute at university, I thought what better way to fulfill my childhood dream than to play my favourite instrument in my favourite setting. Of course, this dream was cut short by a car accident after my first year of university. I continued to study flute for second year, but then my neck and shoulder just couldn't sustain me for the number of hours of practicing that were required to really perfect my craft.

I continued my music degree, but instead of focussing on performance, I switched my major to music history. I went on to do my coursework for my master's degree in Musicology at McGill. After 2 years of coursework, I moved back to Ontario to work and to complete my thesis. I got my first job in advertising and sadly, my thesis remains unfinished to this day!

I guess the reason for me explaining this background is so you understand that I know a lot about music. I know the history of music. I know the technical aspects of music composition. I know all 9 Beethoven symphonies. I can tell you that in the movie Die Hard, Beethoven's 9th symphony is used to increase tension and make the viewer more agitated at certain points of the movie. But what I can't explain to you is why music has such a powerful emotional effect on people. I Googled this when I was thinking about writing this post. Here's what I found:

"As for music's emotional impact, there is some indication that music can affect levels of various hormones, including cortisol (involved in arousal and stress), testosterone (aggression and arousal) and oxytocin (nurturing behavior) as well as trigger release of the natural opiates known as endorphins." (This is extracted from an article by Michael D. Lemonick for Time Magazine).

I'm sure everyone would agree that there are certain songs that evoke strong emotional reactions. Music also has the ability to transport you to another time and place. Music has the power to bring memories flooding back to you so you are re-living incidents of years ago. I'm going to give you a few examples of songs that do this for me! Maybe you'll chuckle when you read some of these. Maybe you'll have memories of your own that get stirred up by some of the same songs! Or maybe it'll get you thinking of some special pieces of music you have in your own life!

Here's a good one! I clearly remember walking with my best friend Kristen to our first high school dance in Grade 9. We had a single can of tonic water which was 1/2 tonic and 1/2 gin. We shared this cocktail on our way to the school. We also had 1 Sony Walkman that we shared. Kristen had one headphone, I had the other. On the cassette tape side A was the Psychedelic Furs "The Ghost in You" album. On side B was an album by Ultravox. Whenever I hear this song, I am reminded of that walk and how much fun we had that night and how excited we both were to be going to our very first dance! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aMHL1lEQBk

Fast forward a year or so... I had a boyfriend in high school named Mark Champagne. He sang in a band and looked like Jack Wagner from General Hospital!! He was dreamy! One night Kristen and I snuck out of the house to meet up with Mark and his less dreamy brother (sorry Kristen!!). We walked down to the canal and sat on a bench talking till the wee hours of the morning. At one point that night, Mark the dream boat, started singing this song to me. I'm reminded of that night every time I hear it!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eT464L1YRA

And finally, whenever I hear anything by Erika Badu, I'm reminded of my second date with my Ronnio. He picked me up at work one night and we drove to Toronto for an amazing dinner. I brought my Erika Badu CD to listen to in the car. I think he thought I was trying to seduce him. I think he may have been right!!!! 2 years later, we were engaged. 8 months after that, we were married! Guess the EB worked! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CPCs7vVz6s

So, today I'm having a hard time shaking a couple of songs. Both are stuck in my brain and are reminding me of my fabulous Vegas getaway. They're songs we heard in the clubs and danced to until dawn. They're reminding me of the amazing group of women I bonded with over those 4 days. And they're making me realize that just because I'm turning 40 doesn't mean that I don't still have the ability to have fun and let loose sometimes! After all, as my friend Kristen says, 40 is the new 20!!!! Enjoy these 2! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-dvTjK_07c&ob=av2n http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjZD63BWKgA&ob=av2n

So, I'm curious to know about what songs spark memories for you. Surely there are some good stories out there. Don't be afraid to share them here!

A healthy dose of fun!

I'm writing this blog in response to many people saying "So, how was Vegas? What did you guys do?"

Well as most of you know, this past weekend was my big Vegas girl's getaway. The reason behind the trip was to celebrate my upcoming 40th birthday. I started planning this trip a year ago when I casually mentioned to 5 of my friends that I wanted to do something special to celebrate. After all, 2 years ago when Ron turned 40, he took off to Vegas, stayed in a penthouse suite at the Palms and did the booty shake with Jessica Alba at a club!!! So surely I deserved a celebration of a similar caliber!

When I started thinking about my birthday getaway there were several options I considered: a weekend at St Anne's spa, a spa getaway to Scottsdale, AZ, a Caribbean getaway... all great options. But the one that stood out and won out was obviously Vegas! A total escape from reality!! So the planning started...

Since we booked the trip 6 months in advance, we had a ton of time to plan out exactly what we wanted to do once we were finally in Vegas. We got together a few times over the course of the 6 months just so everyone could get to know each other a bit better before we left (the common thread in the group was me so a few of my friends didn't really know the other friends that well). The week before the trip we got together for some drinks and pedicures and we watched The Hangover. We were certain our trip would rival the one the guys took in that movie (minus the missing tooth of course!!!!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=162PBJp1akg

Our limo picked us up at 4:45am on Friday. We started the journey by having a couple of mimosas on the way to Toronto. Everyone was so excited that the trip was finally upon us. We survived the flight and got to Vegas at 11:30am which meant we had the entire day on Friday to have fun. We checked in to our GORGEOUS hotel (The Palazzo Las Vegas), got settled, had some lunch and just walked around a bit. We had an early dinner that night at Olives at the Bellagio and then we were off to enjoy front row seats for Cirque du Soleil's O which was by far the best show I've EVER seen.

Saturday was all about shopping... SHOE SHOPPING! If you missed my tweets while I was down there, the news is all Louboutin, all the time! Bought my first pair as a special Happy Birthday to Me present (thanks to a very generous birthday card from Ronnio). Yes, you heard me... it's my 1st pair... 1st of many!!!! Saturday night however was all about a great dinner at Lavo, followed by an amazing evening/morning at the club. When was the last time I danced in 5" heels from 10:30pm until 4:00am???? Not sure if that's ever happened to be honest.

Sunday was a day of low key recovery by the pool. To say we were all tired would be a bit of an understatement. But still, starting the day with a champagne cocktail seemed completely appropriate at the time!!!! Sunday night we ended up at a club at Bellagio which we didn't really like and then back at our hot spot from the night before, Lavo Nightclub! All I can say about Sunday night is that I tried to get a good night's sleep that night, but it just wasn't meant to be.

Which brings me to Monday. Monday was all about the shopping. Shopping, shopping, shopping. We caught the red eye home at 11:30pm so we had a full day of fun before we had to get our tired butts to the airport.

I like to describe this trip as 4 days of being awake with 3 hr catnaps in between. I literally didn't sleep more than 3hrs a night for the entire time. It was amazing. We had such a great time. So much so that we're all up for making this an annual trip! And you know what that means... if Vegas is an annual trip, so is the Louboutin boutique! Better start saving my pennies right this minute.

Thanks so much to my wonderful, amazing group of ladies who agreed to come on this adventure with me and celebrate with me. You are all truly the most incredible women and friends. I'm so lucky to have you in my life. And thanks to all of you around me who indulged me with listening to every last detail of the planning leading up to trip. I know I've been driving people mental! And to the husbands who stayed at home with the children and never questioned the need for us ladies to make this journey, we love you to pieces. It is because of your love and support that we actually came home and welcomed the re-entry to our reality!!

So, there you have it... the trip in a nutshell. May not sound too exciting, but let's not forget, this blog post has been edited and re-edited because after all:

"What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas"!!!!!

Dealing with fear!

A couple of weeks ago my husband and I decided to take little E out for an afternoon of good, honest (and cheap) fun. We gathered up some butterfly nets and a bug catcher; we packed a few drinks, a few snacks and his Bugs of Ontario book and off we went. Our little guy loves bugs and all things creepy crawly so for him, this was the best idea we'd had in a while. We found ourselves the perfect meadow out behind Langdon Hall that was full of milkweed and monarchs... a prime bug catching location.

Our first find was a tiny little tree frog. We scooped him up and put him in our catcher. Things were moving along nicely and little E was getting more and more excited. When we found a big leopard frog things got even better. Then we started walking through the tall grass of the meadow in an attempt to catch ourselves a monarch, or better yet, find ourselves a caterpillar so we could bring him home and "grow" our own monarch butterfly.

E and my hubby went one way through the meadow and I decided to go off on my own... BIG MISTAKE... HUGE! After being on my own for a few minutes, I decided to go and join up with my 2 guys. I was walking along and suddenly stopped in my tracks just shy of walking through a big spider web. I saw the web and thought to myself "wow, that's a big web... I'm glad I didn't walk through it and get it all over my legs". At that point, I looked once more at the big web and realized that sitting right in the middle of it was the biggest, blackest spider I've EVER seen in my life. I can only compare it to the size of the base of a cupcake. It was huge. The body alone was about the size of a quarter.

I've always known I was afraid of spiders, but that day in the meadow, I realized I was more than afraid. I have a true phobia. For a moment I was frozen. Everything started spinning around me. I thought I was going to either throw up or pass out. And then the screaming started. I literally screamed and started crying hysterically and running through the meadow like I was being chased by an axe murderer. The whole time my little boy was yelling "Mummy, what's wrong? Mummy, what's wrong?"

I think my "freakout" session probably lasted no more than 10 or 15 seconds, but it was just long enough to really make my 4 year old scared and upset. When I stopped, I realized that I had done something that I have always promised myself I wouldn't do... I've always said that I would try my absolute best not to relay any of my fears onto my child. I don't like spiders or snakes or roller coasters, but there's no rational reason why he shouldn't. I can quite honestly say that I felt a ton of shame that afternoon at my behaviour. The last thing I want to do is make my son afraid, but I can also tell you that I couldn't help it. Fears are irrational and our reactions are often uncontrollable.

I did do my best to calm little E down and make him not afraid. I did a lot of talking about how Mummy is afraid of spiders but that I'm just silly and there's no real reason to be afraid. Hopefully our talks did the trick because the last thing I want to do is instil my silly fears in him. I'm curious to know how other people deal with this with their kids. Did I do okay with it (after I calmed down)? Ideas/suggestions are always welcome! In the meantime, I'm just going to stay out of the meadow and enjoy the monarchs from the peace of my backyard!

The problem with kids...

For those of you who know me, you know that I am a mother of one amazing little boy. I only have one child for a few reasons:

1. I am turning 40 this year and for me personally, I feel I'm too old to start all over again with a new baby. (I know this may not be how everyone feels and I don't mean any offence to anyone reading this... it's a very personal decision for everyone.)

2. I honestly don't think I have the patience to raise more than 1 child.

and my most important reason...

3. I truly can't fathom feeling the same way about a second child as I do about my first. He is my world... my everything. He's what I think about first thing in the morning and as I close my eyes at night. I knew from the moment I saw him on my first ultrasound that I loved him to pieces. The first time I felt him move inside me was the most incredible feeling ever. I remember constantly rubbing my belly and talking to this little one inside like we were already best friends. The moment he was born my entire life took on new meaning. Each and every day I look at him with wonder and amazement. So, I wonder... how could you possibly feel this way about a second child???? I know, I know... all of my friends have told me that it just happens. That as soon as the second child enters the world, all of these same feelings start to take shape. But for me personally, I just can't even imagine it happening. Again, I don't mean to offend anyone with this comment, I'm just telling you how things are for me.

So, this leads me to the real point of this post...

This past Tuesday, my little wonder had a sleepover at his little buddy's house. Now this may not seem like a big deal, but for me it was HUGE. Little E has had sleepovers before but always at his "Auntie Claudia's" house. He has known Auntie Claudia since the day he was born. She has a daughter 5 months younger and the 2 have grown up together. Her daughter has spent lots of nights at our house and it was Auntie Claudia who took care of little E for a whole week last year when my husband and I had a wedding to attend in Mexico. In short... he knows her well and I trust her with my life (and obviously his as well).

So, this week, when E's buddy wanted to have E over for a sleepover I was nervous. I wasn't nervous about his safety or well being, I was just nervous that he would be okay without me. He's not good with change, he can be super-duper shy and in general, he's a bit of a high stress kid. I fully expected to get a call at 10:30 that night with him crying in the background begging for me to come and get him and bring him home. But guess what.... IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!!!! I didn't get the call. In fact, I got emails from his buddy's mom telling me how awesome he was doing and how he hadn't even mentioned home once!!!!

I went to bed that night feeling mixed emotions. I was so happy that he was okay, but I was a tad sad that he didn't seem to need me any more!!!! I got up the next morning to an email telling me he had slept all night and was in a great mood. Again, mixed emotions came over me. I want him to always need me and always want to be with me!

So... the real point here?

The problem with kids, the way I see it... is that they grow up! And I don't like this one bit.

Wordless Wednesday

Vacation or kid's birthday party... you pick!

I was talking to my friend Claudia the other day about my addiction to social media. She loves Facebook but has not embraced Twitter or blogging! She was asking me about my blog and whether I've written lately. I shook my head in shame and said I hadn't written for a while. She gave me a great idea for a blog post so today's content is brought to you by Auntie C!!!

For the month of April, little E has a birthday party to go to every single weekend. It's a really great thing for a few reasons: 1. It gives me a little break of a couple of hours on a Saturday where I don't usually have one. For some reason, I've been finding the time useful to do more work!! (When I really should just be getting a pedicure and massage!); and 2. More importantly, it means that my little guy has made friends. This is a huge deal for us in the Ingle house because after Christmas E started being really upset a lot and saying he had no friends and that no one wanted to play with him. So for me, each time that birthday invitation has come home in his school back or been left for him in his daycare cubby, I've just about broken down in tears I've been so happy for him. I haven't minded the slow decline in my bank account to fund all the gifts I'm having to purchase!!!!

But what I really wanted to write about was not the fact that E is coming out of his shell, it's more about the parties themselves and the pressure I feel as a mother to always throw the biggest and best parties of anyone! It seems to me that gone are the days of having a few little friends over to the house to play Pin the Tail on the Donkey and bobbing for apples! Now it seems that each year, we have to throw the shindig of the year. I could quite easily fund my entire trip to Vegas this September with what I've spent over the past 4 years on E's parties. (And I mean flight, hotel, limo to the airport, food, shopping, shows!!!!) And now, I've become my own worst enemy because I've set the bar high and the expectation is there each year to see what the party will entail and what the theme will be.

The pictures above show his last 4 parties (from top to bottom):

1. When he turned 4, we rented the entire ice rink at the Cambridge Centre mall for a skating party. The thing about this is that my mentality was "hey, we have the whole ice, let's invite everyone we know"!!!! So all of a sudden we were preparing 20 loot bags, instead of 6 or 8 and we were feeding 20 kids plus 30 or 40 parents. It was a great party and we all had a blast.

2. When he turned 3, we hired a company called Reptilia to come to the house for a reptile show. They come from Vaughan with a crate full of creepy crawly things (tortoise, lizard, big snake, alligator). We had 10 kids and their parents in the house! Again... a fantastic party, complete with personalized, themed lootbags courtesy of me, and a ton of food!

3. When he turned 2, we rented the caboose of the Waterloo-St. Jacob's train and took all of our friends and a clown to St. Jacob's and back. The train itself was fun (Evan was addicted to Thomas at the time), but we decided to have a clown to entertain the kids on the journey. Everyone had a great time!

4. And finally, when E turned 1, we had a party at Gymboree. Again, it was one of those "heck, we have the space rented, let's just invite everyone we know" situations!!!! Evan was really into a specific dumptruck at the time, so everyone took home a "lootbag" which was actually a dump truck filled with little toys and treats!

So, you can see that I really could have paid for a vacation or some special Tiffany jewelry or something with the cash I've spent on 4 birthday parties! Don't get me wrong... I absolutely LOVE throwing these parties. E LOVES them and so it's all worth it. I just wonder if I should be taking things back to basics and giving him an appreciation for all of the simple things we used to do as kids. I guess that'll have to wait until birthday #6 since I've already promised to have a superhero come to the house for #5!!!!!

Karma x 2!

As you all know, part of my life is devoted to doing some pretty cool stuff for a pretty cool company called Mabel's Labels. I was lucky enough to start working with Mabel's several years ago when I first started freelancing after Evan was born. For the past year, I've been working on a contract with them doing mainly project management, including helping with the launch of all of their fabulous products in full colour (check them out here... they're super cute!).

But the real point of my quick blog today is to tell you a pretty cool story so here it goes! One of the founders of Mabel's Labels is Julie Cole (check out her awesome blog here... she's a mama of 6 and has lots of interesting stuff to say!). She once sent an email to someone that was intended to go to me. Turns out, Julie Cole has 2 people with the same name in her email address book! Now this may not seem strange to you if your name is Lisa or Julie or Mike, but for someone named Karma, this is crazy! So, long story short, Julie Cole has now introduced me to my new friend, Karma Brown! (So, not only are we both Karmas, we're both Karma Bs!!!)

I'm not sure how crazy it is for the "other" Karma, but for me, this experience has been surreal. After all, I've spent almost 40 years of my life as the "only" Karma! But now, the "other" Karma has become my close Twitter friend. And not only is she super nice, with a super cool name, she has an amazing life story that relates perfectly to my last blog post about inner strength. She is an inspiration for sure. Check out her story here and you'll understand what I mean.

So, I definitely think karma was at work that day that Julie Cole made her email mistake!