Monday, August 31, 2009

It's not his bag, baby?

My husband is a funny mix of techno savvy and completely not! I'll start with a couple of examples. 

Example #1: When we started dating almost 11 years ago, he had a cell phone AND a pager!!! Who was still carrying a pager at that point???? It took a lot of convincing, but finally he let go of that old Maclean Hunter (remember them?!) relic and opted to add voice mail to his cell phone!!!!

Example #2: Last year, he received a Tom Tom GPS for his birthday. You need to understand that Ron probably drives an average of 1000 - 1200km a week for work. He's in and out of Toronto several times a week and he's always going to new places or looking for faster/shorter routes to wherever he is going. A GPS is the PERFECT gift for him. After it sitting in the box in his office for about 2 or 3 months I started questioning him about why he wasn't using it. I was still getting calls from him from the car periodically and they'd go something like this:

Ron: Are you at your computer?
Me: Yes, why?
Ron: I'm trying to get to X. Can you look it up on Mapquest for me?
Me: Why haven't you unpacked your GPS yet?
Ron: Why are you asking me that right now? Can you please just tell me how to get to X?
Me: Sigh... Okay, here's your directions...

Finally I said to him "Why aren't you using the GPS? Do you not like it? Do you think it's a silly gift? What's the scoop?" This is when he said... "I need you to set it up for me!" That night I took it out of the box, charged it up, read a few instructions and set it up. It's been in his car ever since and he uses it several times a week. 

This seems so funny to me... he's a smart man. A man who loves to have all of the latest gadgets. Case in point... the day the Blackberry Bold came out, he had one. He has an iPod Touch. He drives a car that is loaded with fun features. It just seems that when it comes to figuring out how things work, it's just not his bag! 

Which leads me to my next point... Ron and social media! The 2 do not go hand in hand! Yes, he's on Facebook. Or rather I should say, yes, he has a Facebook profile. But unlike me, he is not on it every day, nor does he ever post a status! He really could never fathom why anyone would be on Twitter and he's just not hip to the blogging jive! In face, it took me several days to admit to him that I started this blog. I knew when he found out he would likely roll his eyes and say something like "why the heck do you have a blog???". Or "when the heck are you going to find time to write on a blog?". And in fact, that is exactly what he did say when I finally told him about it. 

What he doesn't understand is that for me (and so many others I'm sure) Facebook has been a way for me to find and connect with people I haven't seen or heard from in 20+ years. People I have cared about at some point in my life. In fact, I never would have reconnected with my very best friend I had all through grade school if it weren't for Facebook. Now I've actually seen her, gone for a coffee and shared some fabulous memories with her. Maybe it's that Facebook appeals to my emotional side! And maybe it's different for him because he is still living close to where he grew up and still has several of the same friends. I do not.

As for my new blogging hobby, I'll just say that sometimes I have these weird, random thoughts in my head when I'm lying awake (usually after Evan has woken me and I can't get back to sleep!) and I feel the need to write them down. I've never "journaled" before and I don't own a diary, so blogging seems like a more natural fit for me. 

And I have to say, I love my Ron very much. Last night he actually went on my blog for the very first time and told me he liked it. I feel like I'm fully out of the blogging closet now and have gained all the acceptance I need. And just because it's not his bag, baby, doesn't mean it can't be mine!

Friday, August 28, 2009

Identity Theft!

When I got married, I decided to hyphenate my name. I just wasn't ready to give up my own identity for a few reasons: 1. I'd been Karma Bryan for close to 31 years; 2. My husband and I are in the same industry and I felt it was awkward taking his name and dealing with other vendors; and 3. My family name, Bryan, has a very interesting history (it's actually my Grandmother's maiden name... but that's for another post!). Needless to say, I felt very attached to my name. So I proudly maintained my "Bryan-ness" and became officially, legally Karma Bryan-Ingle.

Now fast forward 4 years to when I had my son, Evan. All the efforts I had made after my marriage to maintain my own identity were thrown out the window the minute he was born. I was no longer Karma, Karma Bryan or Karma Bryan-Ingle. I suddenly took on a brand new identity and became known simply as "Evan's mum"!!!! I didn't actually notice this bizarre transformation right away. But as he got older, started daycare, started meeting little friends and doing activities, I started to become aware of this shift. I think this is not unique to me by any stretch. In fact, I, myself, am guilty of stripping other women of their identities. Case in point... a couple of weeks ago I picked Evan up at daycare and started talking to a woman I didn't know. I actually said to her "You must be Freddy's mum... I'm Evan's mum"! Surely she has another identity, although still to this day I have no idea what it is. I wonder if she feels like I do.

This also leads me to wonder about people like Julie Cole, one of the four fabulous women who founded Mabel's Labels ( She is a mama to 6!!! I wonder how she remembers at any given moment what her identity is! Does it become confusing? How do you keep those multiple personalities straight? Just another reason to admire the strength of such an individual... not only does she have 6 identities (or actually 7 if you include her pre-kidlet one), that I believe she actually manages quite successfully, she also, at the same time, carries on an incredibly successful career! Phew... makes me pooped just thinking about it!

So, I leave you with these thoughts... I don't know why this happens to us but it does. Perhaps it's because people are uncomfortable having their kids call other adults by their names so it just seems easier to say "this is Evan's mum" or "Hi, Freddy, I'm Evan's mum"; perhaps it's because as soon as we become mums, our kids take over our worlds and this is just yet another way that happens; or perhaps it's because we all love our babes to death and when someone calls us their mum, we don't correct them, we actually take pride in it so it continues on and on. I like to think it's the latter. So, proudly, I shall now forever be known as:
"Evan's Mum"

Thursday, August 27, 2009

I'm a Newbie!

So I work with this girl named Melissa. She has an awesome blog I periodically check in on her posts and each time am jealous of her writing style and of the images she finds to go with her posts. She's by no means a techno geek, I don't think she owns a Blackberry, I know she's periodically on Facebook, I'm not sure about Twitter. So, I am always amazed that she's figured out this whole blogging thing and does such an amazing job with it. 

So... that's where I come in... The other day at the office I told her she has to teach me how to create a blog and she told me it was "so easy, even she could do it!" So tonight I was inspired enough by her blog to google blogspot and create my own. I don't promise that it will be as charismatic as Melissa's or as interesting, but perhaps if you're a mama of one and a career girl all in one, you'll take something from my scribes!